It's gonna take money, a whole lot of spending money

I spent $58.23 this morning to prove that readable electronic editions of Seamus Heaney's Beowulf and the Modern Library Classic's Paradise Lost do not exist. Heaney's translation has been butchered in the transfer; both the iBook and Kindle edition bear a striking resemblance to the work of E. E. Cummings. You know, the poet famous for works like this:

r-p-o-p-h-e-s-s-a-g-r

  by E. E. Cummings

                             r-p-o-p-h-e-s-s-a-g-r
                      who
  a)s w(e loo)k
  upnowgath
                  PPEGORHRASS
                                        eringint(o-
  aThe):l
             eA
                 !p:
S                                                         a
                          (r
  rIvInG                         .gRrEaPsPhOs)
                                                         to
  rea(be)rran(com)gi(e)ngly
  ,grasshopper;

The caesura is a notable feature of Anglo-saxon poetry, but this is ridiculous. Can people possibly be reading this? 

Much of the day's expense is due to the fact that samples only preview introductory material and not the verse, which is the only part that really matters. I started to think that this omission must be premeditated. Perhaps Barnes & Noble hopes to bolster its Nook division by tricking unsuspecting teachers, desperate to locate a readable electronic edition of a much beloved text, into turbo purchasing. Well, they got me.

As my quest continued, an additional $15 went to Nook and iBook editions of the Folger Macbeth and Shakespeare. These are both readable (by humans), but leave much to be desired. As I clicked, swiped, dragged, and pointed robotically at my screens (this endeavor required both a laptop and iPad), inexpensive copies of each of these books sat on my desk. This tableau felt like one of the cartoons in the New Yorker's weekly caption contest. I need some time to think of what my entry would be.

Two weeks until school starts

Today my worst fear has materialized: I will be teaching high school English in a book free classroom. Well, I suppose the veracity of this statement depends on what your definition of a book is. Print books - including library books, bargain bin finds, hand-me-downs from older siblings - are officially out, and iPads - with eBooks, iBooks (what's the difference between these two anyway??), kindle books - are in.

What will this look like? How does one read Paradise Lost, or Beowulf, or My Antonia from a screen? If kids can access a paperback without hassle or expense, why can't they use them? And what on earth am I going to do? I love my books and cannot envision what this classroom is going to look like.  

Keep calm and teach on.

I'm having trouble putting my finger on exactly how I feel right now (anxious, angry, and exasperated come to mind...), so I hope jotting down my thoughts on a regular basis will help me process and understand this experience of teaching in an iPad classroom. Perhaps this will all turn out to be a pleasant surprise - a why did we ever doubt this moment. It makes me think of sitting in my parents' kitchen, insisting that I would not eat a grilled cheese with ham, even though my mother assured me that I would like it. I finally caved (as I always do), and then declared (with an air of incredulity) the tastey morsel to be "surprisingly delicious" after my first bite. I have been known to cling to an idea, only to discover that a previously maligned alternative is actually preferable.

James Surowiecki wrote a piece in last week's New Yorker about Barnes & Noble and the disappointing sales of its Nook division. His last few paragraphs are particularly compelling because he argues that a physical book is actually an "exceptional piece of technology - easy to read, portable, durable, and inexpensive." Surowiecki asserts that the book isn't obsolete, and suggests that the coexistence of eBooks and physical books is a likely outcome. 

I'm tempted to pass out his article - along with this excellent piece on the decline and fall of the English major - at parent night. Both so clearly articulate my deepest held beliefs about what it means to be educated and the absolute necessity of books. Now if I could only get the decision makers at our school to read them.